The Space Between

In life we're often reminded of the choice between right or wrong, good and best. Life is painted in a black and white tapestry and the decision is easy. Then there are the times Pastors try to avoid in the messages. The times when there is no black and white, but techno-color. This is what I call The Space Between. It's the space between right and wrong, where there is no absolute, only options.

This week I find myself faced with a decision. It's not a choice of right or wrong, but of what do I really desire. I think we've all been in that place where we are presented with two options and the right choice isn't so black or white.

It's like an invitation you're scared to open. What seems to be starring me in the face is an invitation to an adventure. I haven't been given the details of the trip or even the destination. I've just been challenged to live beyond myself and my understanding. Now in this Space Between I must make my choice, with no morals or ethics to guide, just desire.

Haha..Very Funny?!

This past week I went to visit friends at Baptist Park, a camp I volunteered on Scholarship with 2 years ago. I told them anything they needed help with. I would do whatever. I was expecting they were gonna have me help maintain the camp with the general workers, as they didn't need any teachers for this week. I thought it would be great to work with some old buds I hadn't seen in 2 years.

I pulled into Baptist Park at 12:30am Saturday morning, leaving River Valley Wesleyan at 10:30pm. A nice 3 hour trip. We stayed up watching movies and playing games until 4:30 before turning in for the morning.

Many of you know of my "great fondness" of caring for children. You might even call it a passion....to usher the children quickly into the presence of God. So with this in mind, the next morning I was given an invitation to teach a class to the the gr.4-6 kids for the week. Even though I'm of the persuasion that any children between the ages of 2 and 12 should be caged I figured I would challenge myself, even though I had no material to go on. Attending a Saturday evening service at Presque Isle Wesleyan I was inspired by Pastor Rick's message about Peter to do a whole theme of "Carnies from the Bible", or as the camp renamed it "God's Carnival". So with the week planned out I was sitting pretty right up until 2:30pm Sunday afternoon.

Sunday, There was a 3 day, ages 6-8, camp that came in and all the volunteer counsellors backed out, so they asked me if I really meant "whatever", as they knew how I love "children's minsitry". It just excites me soooo much. With hestitation and terror in my voice I agreed. All I could think was "Haha very funny God! You must REALLY love me to discipline me this much".

Sunday night was full of one camper's continous temper tantrums (discovering later this child was slightly authistic, poor little guy) and a 3:00am Pee Cleaning. I was loving it already.

Monday and Tuesday my prayers were full of pleas for patience and love, as the 3 day camp wrapped up and I waved good-bye to the wonderful flesh bags a group of us jumped into a 1983 BMW and cruised Presque Isle, making the key stops of Wal-Mart and Tim Horton's.

The rest of the week I continued my teaching, of three 45 minute classes each day looking at a different charcter in the Bible who could have been a Carnie. Using various forms of interaction we had a blast watching, lions' devor corrupt officials of the king, sneaking a peak at Samson and Delilah's Romance, walking across tables as Peter walked on Water, and Torching Rocks with Elijah.
In between classes I had a chance to genuinely reconnect with many of my old campers, who are now staff. What shocked me most was I actually was enjoying teaching.. .children. When people asked how classes were going I could honestly answer, "I'm loving it".
It's awesome how when you open yourself up to whatever... God will not only use you, but you end up enjoying it.

For future reference, I stil have no desire to go into Children's ministry. This just means I'm able to tolerate the human vermon, alittle more. I do love children, just not the things they do. Like snot bubbles, and kicking each other, and crying, and whinning and interrupting and....well, you fill in the blanks.

Mountain Top Experiences

When I was in Zambia I would drive by a large hill on my way to and from Lusaka. The top of this hill is where it is said David Livingstone stood and wept, For he saw "a thousand fires for a thousand souls who do not know the Lord".

Then when I was in Roanoke, VA I would often drive to the top of a mountain at night, where the Roanoke Star is and look out over the Roanoke Valley, and my mind would be haunted by the words of Livingstone as I saw the street lights, the porch lights, and the busy traffic lights. This time the words would be, " a hundred thousand lights for a hundred thousand souls who do not know the Lord" and then I would weep.

Now at River Valley, many times in our sanctuary, which happens to sit at the top of a hill in Grand Bay, I find myself being burdened to tears for the lost of our community in Grand Bay-Westfield.

While I was in Zambia one of the verses that the Lord kept laying on my heart was Matthew 23:37, "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing." (NIV) and in this verse Jesus' standing on a hill overlooking Jerusalem. I think it's pretty cool that I have always had a hill to overlook the place I'm ministering and experience what Jesus and David Livingstone experienced.

All this nostalgic banter leads me to this question, "Am I weird?" Does anyone else have these types of experiences, perhaps not on a mountain or hill, but does anyone else weep for the lost in their community. Do you some timeless feel overcome by the intensity of others helplessness?

The Birth of Cynicism

I've noticed over the last little while that through the teenage years there is a change that occurs within each youth I know. You can stop the childish giggling because I'm not referring to puberty. While puberty maybe be linked to this change, I have discovered a worldview change within the youth.

In Middle School teens are pretty much game for anything and think the world of you. Just by the influx of your voice they burst in to cheers, giggles, or disgust. They believe we have their best interest in mind and fully trust our decisions.

Then High School comes along and there is a distinct line drawn, placing us with the adults and as one of the many who can't be trusted. There's a birth of cynicism within these once trusting teens. All of the sudden the cheers turn to leers. Whatever the project, they are "too cool" for anything an adult wants to do. We find ourselves having to prove ourselves over and over again, as the teens keep trying to discover, "what is the catch"?!

Amongst the cynicism there is a plea for guidance and a desire to trust. They stand at the line, leaning over, and waiting for us to whisper direction into their ear. In postmodern fashion they are covertly saying, "Show me the way, but I'm not asking for help"!

They hope the guidance they are given will be worth the price, they will one day pay, not believing our love comes free of charge.