I've noticed over the last little while that through the teenage years there is a change that occurs within each youth I know. You can stop the childish giggling because I'm not referring to puberty. While puberty maybe be linked to this change, I have discovered a worldview change within the youth.
In Middle School teens are pretty much game for anything and think the world of you. Just by the influx of your voice they burst in to cheers, giggles, or disgust. They believe we have their best interest in mind and fully trust our decisions.
Then High School comes along and there is a distinct line drawn, placing us with the adults and as one of the many who can't be trusted. There's a birth of cynicism within these once trusting teens. All of the sudden the cheers turn to leers. Whatever the project, they are "too cool" for anything an adult wants to do. We find ourselves having to prove ourselves over and over again, as the teens keep trying to discover, "what is the catch"?!
Amongst the cynicism there is a plea for guidance and a desire to trust. They stand at the line, leaning over, and waiting for us to whisper direction into their ear. In postmodern fashion they are covertly saying, "Show me the way, but I'm not asking for help"!
They hope the guidance they are given will be worth the price, they will one day pay, not believing our love comes free of charge.
TSB VIII
2 months ago
7 comments:
I think the cynicism is really just because they are afraido of deception. Yes, they do want guidance, and relationship, but they want it to be real, genuine, not something boxed like they would have settled for in the past.
It's also possible that during those teenage years you REALLY did become a big giant mean adult! :)
As easy as it would be to point the finger and blame myself, I've spoken with other youth pastors about this mentality shift. They have also noticed it, as well.Yes, I am an adult, but I'm also the same adult who has nurtured and poured his life into you for the past 4 years.
I think Steph is onto something in that teens defences go up as they hit high school. Perhaps part of the enculturation into high school is a schema that holds all adults are evil. However, I don't think the love I have given has ever been anything less than genuine or real, nor do I think any other youth pastors would give any less.
I don't think it's the love you offer them that they doubt, but the message, the reason behind the love. Yes, you truly love them, but is it because you have an agenda? They are wondering if you would feel the same regardless of what they say, do, or believe.
Steph, I can understand them thinkin' we have an agenda. There's so much emphasis put on numerical growth, which with the right motives is a good thing, the teens aren't sure we're interested in them as a person or a number. So how do we show teens our love is not numerically based?
i had a long answer to that Dave, so I wrote it in my blog
stephthesap.blogspot.com
Steph, that was well done shameless advertising of your blog (j/j). So Now I'm gonan write a new post.
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